Your Guide to Lesbian and Same-Sex Weddings in Melbourne and Victoria

Planning a lesbian or same-sex wedding in Melbourne? Discover inclusive ceremony ideas, legal tips and local wedding planning advice for LGBTIQA+ couples.

I’ve been an authorised LGBTIQA+ inclusive marriage celebrant since 2015. In the period since marriage equality became law in Australia in December 2017, it’s been my honour to marry more than 80 lesbian couples – and to help plan ceremonies for many more same-sex weddings and gay couples’ weddings in Melbourne and across Victoria.

Many of these couples have had their own particular needs as to what they wanted in a marriage ceremony, ranging from a full ‘bells and whistles’ celebration to a ‘short and sweet’ or legals-only marriage ceremony, consisting of the bare essentials.

This blog explores some of the ways lesbian couples have made their wedding their own – whether it’s been driven by budget, by a need to be private and intimate, or whether romance was the key factor.

Drawing from my experience conducting more than 200 LGBTIQA+ weddings, I have compiled the best ideas and tips to help you make your lesbian or same-sex wedding unique, romantic and inexpensive – while also ensuring your ceremony feels genuinely inclusive, affirming, and personal. And, after conducting that number of queer weddings, there are some trends in LGBTIQA+ Weddings in Melbourne that have begun to show up: Same Sex Wedding Statistics

The process – what’s involved?

Essentially, the process of getting married in Australia is the same, no matter the couple, including for same-sex couples and lesbian weddings in Melbourne.

You can read a shortened version of that process here: Process of a Civil Marriage Ceremony

Or, if you’d like more details, you can read them here: Legal Marriage Requirements in Australia

If you’re a foreign lesbian couple travelling to Melbourne to get married, I encourage you to download my free e-book that takes you on a wedding planning journey: Wedding Guide for Foreign LGBTIQA+ Couples in Australia

At any time, if you’d like to schedule a free, no obligation appointment with me – via Zoom or face-to-face – please do so here: Book an appointment with Bronte (Melbourne LGBTIQA+ wedding celebrant)

Questions to ask inclusive wedding suppliers

One of the red flags I’d be looking out for when approaching wedding suppliers is how much they talk about:

• themselves
• what they offer
• what they can do for you

. . . without asking very much at all about what you’re actually after in a wedding.

Or:

• they make inappropriate assumptions about you, your relationship or what they expect you want in a wedding
• they ask questions that are none of their business
• they tell you that they’re comfortable being involved in lesbian weddings because they “treat everyone the same”
• their website focuses on straight couples and has few or no images of lesbian or same-sex couples
• their paperwork and forms still refer to ‘bride and groom’
• they focus heavily on being an “ally” rather than demonstrating real experience

These are clear signals that their queer literacy needs to be improved – and that they are probably not as lesbian-friendly or LGBTIQA+ inclusive as they make out.

If that’s the case – whether for a wedding venue, celebrant, photographer, cake maker, Melbourne wedding planner, or so on – I’d be making an exit and begin looking for a lesbian-friendly supplier who really listens and understands what you’re after.

Inclusive questions to ask suppliers

While you’re meeting with any wedding supplier, you should feel completely ok about asking:

Q. How much experience do you have working with lesbian couples or same-sex weddings?

This question can help gauge the supplier’s familiarity and comfort with lesbian couples, ensuring they’re sensitive to your needs. It can also signal how other lesbian couples have viewed them – are they popular or not?

Q. Tell us about the most exciting lesbian wedding that you were involved with. What made it stand out?

Their response to this will enable you to gauge whether their lesbian weddings – and the service they offer – is templated or if it actually changes from one wedding to another.

Q. Tell us how you ensure you’re inclusive of all gender identities and sexual orientations?

It’s important that the supplier’s services, language, and approach are inclusive and affirming of both partners.

Q. What’s your policy on using non-gendered language (partner, spouse, etc.)?

This is about working out whether they’re open to using non-gendered language (eg partner, spouse) in their wedding work, forms, paperwork etc.

Q. What steps do you take to ensure a lesbian-friendly atmosphere at the wedding?

Ask about how they ensure inclusivity for all guests, such as training staff, respecting pronouns, not judging, not assuming, and addressing guests appropriately.

Q. Do you offer recommendations for other lesbian-friendly vendors?

A supplier who is committed to inclusivity often has a network of other LGBTIQA+ friendly vendors, which can make planning much easier.

Unique Venues for Lesbian and Same-Sex Weddings in Melbourne

In Australia, you can get married anywhere at any time on any day of the year – which gives lesbian couples enormous freedom when planning a same-sex wedding in Victoria.

Some of my favourite venues for LGBTIQA+ weddings can be found here: Gay-Friendly Wedding Venues in Melbourne

In addition, some of my lesbian couples have chosen venues such as:

• a lesbian club or bar
• a quirky bar such as QT’s Hotel or Siglo
• their favourite restaurant (a discreet, intimate ceremony with just two witnesses)
• a farm outside Melbourne with hay bales and troughs of drinks
• a quiet beach ceremony followed by sunset grazing tables
• the Grotto — a private, verdant setting near the Melbourne CBD.

Romantic lesbian weddings and inclusive ceremonies

Some lesbian couples seek nothing more than a no-fuss marriage ceremony that gets the legal paperwork sorted.

But even that type of short, intimate wedding can still include champagne being popped after the ceremony – a romantic moment that marks the beginning of married life.

Other romantic ideas for a lesbian or same-sex wedding ceremony include:

• walking in together, rather than being “given away”, as a beautiful symbol of equality and partnership
• writing personal vows that reflect your real story – how you met, what you’ve overcome, and what you’re choosing together
• including a meaningful ritual, such as handfasting, a unity candle, or blending colours from the rainbow or lesbian flag
• creating your own attire, if you have the skills – or wearing something that feels deeply you, rather than traditional expectations
• using fabric from a pride flag or a banner from a marriage equality march to make a ring cushion or keepsake
• planning an intimate Melbourne elopement, followed by champagne, a picnic, or a private dinner as newlyweds
• hiring a helicopter or special transport for a once-in-a-lifetime arrival – for example, flying from Essendon Airport to a Yarra Valley winery for your ceremony and lunch
• surprising your guests with music, such as an unannounced a cappella performance of one of your favourite love songs to begin the ceremony
• exchanging alternative symbols of commitment, such as watches, bracelets or meaningful jewellery – especially for couples who value privacy or safety
• creating a ceremony moment just for the two of you, such as a private vow exchange before guests arrive
• choosing a venue that feels romantic and affirming, whether that’s a winery, a quiet beach, a lush Melbourne public garden, or somewhere that holds personal meaning
• saying your vows in one of Melbourne’s iconic gardens, such as the Royal Botanic Gardens or Fitzroy Gardens – a stunning option for an intimate same-sex wedding ceremony in Melbourne surrounded by nature
• planning a small inner-city ceremony followed by a laneway celebration, with champagne and photos in Melbourne’s famous hidden streets, murals, and rooftop bars – perfect for couples wanting a modern Melbourne lesbian wedding vibe
• escaping to the Yarra Valley or Mornington Peninsula for a romantic destination-style ceremony, combining Melbourne accessibility with vineyard or coastal beauty – ideal for couples searching for a relaxed same-sex wedding ceremony near Melbourne, Victoria.

Romance looks different for every couple – and that’s the beauty of an inclusive wedding ceremony designed around you.

Inexpensive lesbian weddings (short and sweet options)

Not everyone has a large budget to spend on their wedding. Increasingly, LGBTIQA+ couples are looking for a Short and Sweet Marriage Ceremony — you can check what’s included here: Wedding Celebrant Packages

In fact, 69% of my lesbian couples have selected this type of ceremony. It’s a wonderful way of saving money whilst still being just as legally married as any couple spending thousands.

Some planning tips:

• Keep the guest list small (2? 5? 10?)
• Choose a meaningful location (garden, lounge room, hotel room)
• Share food casually (grazing table, bring-a-plate, takeaway feast)
• Skip unnecessary extras if they don’t matter to you.

Whatever your budget, there are ways of having a lesbian wedding that’s inexpensive, memorable and deeply meaningful.

Here is a 12-month Lesbian Wedding Planner Checklist that you may find helpful: 12-month Lesbian Wedding Planner

Things to avoid in your lesbian wedding

Many lesbians getting married for the first time tell me they have no idea where to begin.

Here are some things to avoid:

1. Try to avoid the trappings of traditional straight weddings if they don’t feel right. Here are some alternative same-sex wedding rituals and traditions:
   Same Sex Wedding Rituals
2. Remember: it’s your wedding, not anyone else’s. Accept advice politely, then decide privately what suits you.
3. Avoid suppliers who have no respect for lesbians or the broader LGBTIQA+ community.
4. Don’t invite people who don’t embrace your relationship. Your wedding should feel joyful and safe.

Conclusion

Remember that your wedding can be as complex or as simple, as expensive or as cheap, as you decide.

Set boundaries around planning so it doesn’t become a full-time job.

And most importantly, remember why you’re doing this: to celebrate your love – in a way that feels authentic, inclusive, and completely yours.

FAQ: Lesbian and same-sex weddings in Melbourne

Q. How do I plan a lesbian wedding in Melbourne?

Start by choosing an LGBTIQA+ inclusive celebrant, then focus on the basics: your guest list, venue, ceremony style, and vendors who genuinely understand queer couples. You may find some helpful tips here – Lesbian-Gay Wedding Ideas

Q. What makes a celebrant LGBTIQA+ inclusive?

An inclusive celebrant uses affirming language, avoids gendered assumptions, has real experience with same-sex weddings, and creates ceremonies that reflect your unique relationship.

Q. Where can gay couples get married in Victoria?

Anywhere – from inner-city Melbourne venues to beaches, wineries, private homes, restaurants, or elopement locations. Victoria offers endless options for gay couples’ weddings.