How do gay weddings work? (Yes, it’s a real question)

Since marriage equality became law in Australia in December 2017, same-sex couples have been able to marry legally, joyfully, and without needing to pretend one of you is “the groom” and the other is “also the groom but slightly less groom.”

There are no special rules for gay weddings.

No rainbow licence.

No additional forms.

No government official asking, “Which one of you is the wife?”

It’s the same legal process, just with better wedding attire!

To get legally married in Australia, you’ll need three things:

1. A Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM)

This is the official “Yep, we’re doing this” form.

You need to submit it to the celebrant at least one month before the wedding, but no more than 18 months ahead.

Pro tip: do this early so you can return to more important tasks, like choosing between 43 identical shades of white.

2. Two Witnesses

You’ll need two adults (18+) to witness the ceremony.

They can be friends, family, strangers, or that one chaotic gay uncle who cries during every ad.

3. An authorised celebrant (Hi! Hello!)

A celebrant is the person who makes it legal and makes it you.

Think of me as part ‘officiant’, part storyteller, part professional vibe curator.

Absolutely not.

Gay weddings are basically a blank canvas with fewer expectations and more creative freedom.

You don’t need:

• A bride side and groom side
• A “giving away” moment
• A first dance if dancing is your enemy
• Matching suits (unless you want that power couple look)

You can have all of those things . . . or none.

Your wedding should feel like you, not like a straight wedding template with the labels crossed out.

Check out some possibilities here: 38 Same Sex- Wedding Traditions Rituals

This is one of the most common questions

Answer 1: whoever wants to.
Answer 2: why have an aisle?

Options include:

• No aisle at all — just appearing dramatically like Beyoncé
• One of you first, then the other
• Walking in together like a united front
• Both being escorted by loved ones.

Melbourne is your stage.

Another excellent question.

You can be:

• brides
• grooms
• partners
• spouses
• chaos twins in love
• whatever feels right

I’ll never force you into gendered language that doesn’t fit.

This is your ceremony, not a Centrelink form.

Please do.

Straight weddings have had centuries of tradition.

Gay weddings have . . . freedom.

Add whatever makes your hearts sing:

• A drag flower person
• A ceremony that includes your found family
• A playlist that goes from ABBA to Troye Sivan
• Vows that are romantic and slightly unhinged

The whole point is: you’re not copying anyone. You’re creating something new.

A typical ceremony includes:

1. Welcome and intro
2. Your love story (the cute bit) – optional
3. The legal words (the compulsory bit)
4. Personal vows (the emotional damage) – optional
5. Rings (optional but shiny)
6. Pronouncement (the “HELL YES”)
7. Signing paperwork (the glamorous admin)

And then: married. Done. Boom.

Legally? No.

Emotionally? Often, yes.

For many queer couples, a wedding is more than a party.

It can feel like:

• A celebration after years of invisibility
• A big exhale
• A moment of pride
• A joyful middle finger to anyone who ever said your love wasn’t real

And I don’t take that lightly.

I take it with confetti.

Melbourne is basically the gay wedding capital of excellent taste.

Rooftops, wineries, laneways, gardens, disco receptions . . . it’s all here. Check this out

And having a celebrant who gets it – and who gets you – makes a massive difference.

No awkward assumptions.

No “bride and groom” nonsense.

Just a ceremony that feels like home.

If you’re planning a same-sex wedding in Melbourne and want it to be:

• legal
• personal
• funny
• romantic
• very, very you

Then I’d love to be your celebrant.

Get in touch, and let’s create something iconic.

Q. Do gay weddings require different paperwork?

Nope. Same process, same forms.

Q. Can we both wear dresses or both wear suits or both wear whatever we want to wear?

Yes. The wedding police are not real.

Q. Do we have to include gendered roles?

Absolutely not.

Q. Can our ceremony be non-traditional?

Please. That’s kind of our thing.